A large amount of stress arises at the moment when thoughts creep into our mind, making us feel anxious, insecure, worried, etc. Most of the time, people think about possible future scenarios and reflect on past events, trying to imagine how they would have reacted differently in certain situations that have already occurred. Many claim that most of the things we are ashamed of never actually happened. When we look back, it may seem funny, and we might feel a little foolish for having spent so much time and energy thinking about a problem that ended up being resolved quite well (e.g., parents telling you at a meeting that they think their child is quite upset).
Did you know that people who are more positive, optimistic, and inclined to think about good things are happier, more satisfied, successful, and healthier? This isn’t some revolutionary discovery because our thoughts can play a very important role in creating and managing stress, especially stress caused by our work environment. Our DNA, family environment (especially in the early years of childhood), and our life experiences influence the development of our optimism or pessimism. However, despite having a rather pessimistic upbringing and not-so-positive life experiences, we can develop more optimistic thinking over time, which helps us achieve a better quality of life.
Elkin (2013) lists five signs that show our mind is under stress, and they are the following:
– Difficulty controlling thoughts and panic thoughts.
– Difficulty sleeping (trouble falling asleep).
– Frequent thoughts about things.
– Difficulty concentrating.
– Irritability and restlessness.
Negative thoughts are often associated with perfectionism, self-criticism, fear of failure, uncertainty, or disapproval. If we want to reduce stress, we must learn to stop negative thoughts. Persistence in this is particularly important because we cannot control automatic thoughts, and they may become more frequent the more we try to avoid them. However, with the right techniques, we can reduce the number of negative thoughts and ensure they don’t completely throw us off balance and overwhelm our mind.
Elkin (ibid.) recommends the following techniques:
– Write down negative thoughts.
– Think about better alternative solutions to the problem that led you to negative thinking.
– Focus on the negative thought for at least 20 minutes, trying to feel it with all your senses.
– Say to the negative thought, “Stop!”
– Replace the negative thought.
– Repeat the entire process for another thought.