Advisors and psychiatrists claim that one of the main differences between successful and satisfied people and those who are less successful and more dissatisfied is that successful people know themselves well, know who they are, and have clear priorities. Being aware of and following your priorities helps people make various choices and decide how much attention they want to dedicate to a particular situation. The lower the priority, the less time and concern it requires.
People who have a clear vision of their future will find it easier to say “no” to things they know won’t help them achieve their goals. Often, these individuals are more successful at work, yet they don’t seem exhausted or disheartened because of it. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
When we set priorities, we manage our time more easily. The concept of priority operates on two levels: urgency and importance. There are several techniques for setting priorities (criteria-based on project goals, the ABC method, the Eisenhower urgency matrix, etc.). These techniques help us manage our time. We handle important and urgent tasks before those that are less significant. If we don’t pay attention to our priorities, we can quickly lose time on tasks that are less urgent or even insignificant. It is also important to focus your priorities on yourself and your own desires and goals. It’s nice to help others, but not at the cost of postponing work that you then have to complete outside of working hours.
Below, we will briefly describe different techniques for setting priorities, and in the appendix, you will find forms that will assist you in doing so. These forms can be used for both work-related tasks and personal life tasks. It’s also a good idea to create a list of relationships that are priorities for you so you know where to dedicate the most and the least energy. To do this, draw a point in the center of a sheet of paper to represent the core. In the central circle, write the names of people with whom you have the closest relationships and on whom you can rely at any time in your life. You can also leave this circle blank or write only your own name. The important thing is to be honest, which means not including names due to family ties but rather the names of people who are genuinely close to you.
In the second circle, write the names of people who are a little less valuable than those in the first circle, then continue with as many circles as you wish. The most important relationships are in the first and second circles, and you should devote most of your time and energy to these. All other relationships are far less significant. Keep your most important relationships in mind as you engage in various commitments. Often, in our desire to be noticed, we invest a lot of energy into relationships in the fifth or sixth circle, leaving us with little time and energy for the people who matter most to us.
By determining your priority relationships and assessing the amount of time you’d like to spend with the people you love, compared to the time you realistically spend with them, you can set goals to allocate more time to the relationships that are most valuable to you. In this way, you’ll find it easier to decline a colleague’s hallway request to give a lecture for fun, spend less time with a neighbour who annoys you, and end a phone call more quickly with a cousin who only calls when she needs something.